Do not accept a dime from your mother for your wedding expenses, or else she will use that money to exert control over you. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. I've let her know that we will split the finances percent wise for up to 35 invites from each other's side, and that she'd have to cover entirely the extra guests that'd be coming from her side (any guest above 35). However the amount of money that went down the drain after the postponement is insane especially in this financial climate. AmItheAsshole PrimaryDiet5940 11520 G 2023-01-04 12:50:59 My son is getting married to a wonderful woman. Image credits: _Bluenose Girl (not the actual image). Weddings are boring, if you want people to enjoy them they should have someone to enjoy it with. .s5ap8yh1b4ZfwxvHizW3f{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);padding-top:5px}.s5ap8yh1b4ZfwxvHizW3f._19JhaP1slDQqu2XgT3vVS0{color:#ea0027} Concerns were raised about the relationship. I did not argue with my sister because my best friend wasn't invitedI just wasn't sure how else to title this without it being too wordy. Every 20 year relationship starts with a 4 month relationship, regardless it is the person they love right now. When they asked me to be in the wedding, they knew my financial situation. Then it's the namesake. lol. I have attended numerous wedding, sometimes far away, I always paid for it. Me and my fiance carefully chose the rules and in total there was about 30 rules. Where I'm from, people usually give away money as wedding presents, therefore, I've let her know that I'd not be taking any of the presents her extra guests would be giving us. And his name is Crazy man. NAH, unless of course you try to guilt trip her, then you would be the AH. Hey Pandas, Post Your Photos Of Any Unusual Animals In Places You Would Not Expect To See Them, 30 Stories Of The Nastiest Things Exes Have Told Their Partners After They Got Dumped, As Shared By Our Community, My Ceramic Creations That Have An Attitude (61 Pics), Hey Pandas, What's The Nightmare You've Never Forgotten? My 2-year-old son can't attend, either. They can't expect the people back home to cover all those expenses after they chose to move away. ju. First up it's AITA for quitting my husbands 70 year old business? Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. If SIL can't afford the ticket then she can choose not to come. We are doing a small wedding and only inviting 20 guests. AITA for not paying for my fiancee's wedding guests, resulting in her wanting to cancel the wedding altogether? "AITA for uninviting my family from my wedding because they want me to share it with my sister?" The OP is currently trying to plan her wedding around the pandemic. When someone does this, it's time to pick up the phone. ago. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. We're both financially in a good place, but for the past 3 years I've been earning twice what she makes. Do this over text and save any and . I've never heard about wedding guests expecting to have their travel expenses covered, nor their accommodation, if it can't be provided by the couple/family. Therefore, whenever we need to pay for something, I pay 67% of it, and she's paying the remaining 33%. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. 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AITA for leaving my husband's brother's wedding after I got told to sit with "formal guests"? She has been with her fiance for 10 years, and they are . If yall are engaged, yall are family. .Rd5g7JmL4Fdk-aZi1-U_V{transition:all .1s linear 0s}._2TMXtA984ePtHXMkOpHNQm{font-size:16px;font-weight:500;line-height:20px;margin-bottom:4px}.CneW1mCG4WJXxJbZl5tzH{border-top:1px solid var(--newRedditTheme-line);margin-top:16px;padding-top:16px}._11ARF4IQO4h3HeKPpPg0xb{transition:all .1s linear 0s;display:none;fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);height:16px;width:16px;vertical-align:middle;margin-bottom:2px;margin-left:4px;cursor:pointer}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B:hover ._11ARF4IQO4h3HeKPpPg0xb{display:inline-block}._2IvhQwkgv_7K0Q3R0695Cs{border-radius:4px;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-line)}._2IvhQwkgv_7K0Q3R0695Cs:focus{outline:none}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B{transition:all .1s linear 0s;border-radius:4px;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-line)}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B:focus{outline:none}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B.IeceazVNz_gGZfKXub0ak,._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B:hover{border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._35hmSCjPO8OEezK36eUXpk._35hmSCjPO8OEezK36eUXpk._35hmSCjPO8OEezK36eUXpk{margin-top:25px;left:-9px}._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP,._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP:focus-within,._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP:hover{transition:all .1s linear 0s;border:none;padding:8px 8px 0}._25yWxLGH4C6j26OKFx8kD5{display:inline}._2YsVWIEj0doZMxreeY6iDG{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;padding:4px 6px}._1hFCAcL4_gkyWN0KM96zgg{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);margin-right:8px;margin-left:auto;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-errorText)}._1hFCAcL4_gkyWN0KM96zgg,._1dF0IdghIrnqkJiUxfswxd{font-size:12px;font-weight:700;line-height:16px;cursor:pointer;-ms-flex-item-align:end;align-self:flex-end;-webkit-user-select:none;-ms-user-select:none;user-select:none}._1dF0IdghIrnqkJiUxfswxd{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._3VGrhUu842I3acqBMCoSAq{font-weight:700;color:#ff4500;text-transform:uppercase;margin-right:4px}._3VGrhUu842I3acqBMCoSAq,.edyFgPHILhf5OLH2vk-tk{font-size:12px;line-height:16px}.edyFgPHILhf5OLH2vk-tk{font-weight:400;-ms-flex-preferred-size:100%;flex-basis:100%;margin-bottom:4px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText)}._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX{margin-top:6px}._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._3MAHaXXXXi9Xrmc_oMPTdP{margin-top:4px} Assuming that you don't weaponize the fact that she misses the wedding. 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So a couple may have originally thought they wanted to have a big wedding with lots of guests but then end up going down the route of eloping. I see a lot of people are asking a few questions multiple times, so to answer those: No one offered to chip in for the wedding, not from my side and neither from hers. Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Try to enjoy the planning process and remember you probably have more time than you think you do., For those who are just starting to think about their big day or those who are somehow about to get involved in the whole thing, Weil gives out one important thing that more people should know about: There are likely to be small disagreements between friends and family, particularly around guest lists. Privacy Policy. While I disagree with this imo and would never do it. Theres the spouse, kids, friends, parents. "She is planning her wedding (and let me know a few things she wanted for her special day): Since their future in-laws are so conservative and religious, my husband is not allowed to attend the wedding; I said: OK, it's your day. But you also can't be upset with them for missing events. Therefore, she and her fianc requested that each guest gift them $1,500 in cash to pay off their wedding. INFO: what do you mean by being generous? For more information, please see our We will not publish or share your email address in any way. cf; pf . OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: My mother thinks I'm being an asshole because I don't want her to bring one of her friends to my wedding. Therefore, we'd have overall about 90-100 guests, give or take. I always say have your wedding wherever you want, but dont expect everyone to travel far to attend. Or vice versa. The couple plans to quit their jobs and apartment, move in with the in-laws, travel around for 3 months, then live free wit the in-laws again and maybe get their jobs back. Background. if you cant afford to foot her fare, then dont. The father revealed that their family had an agreement that the parents would give their children each $10K to be spent on the wedding or a down payment on their first home. ._1x9diBHPBP-hL1JiwUwJ5J{font-size:14px;font-weight:500;line-height:18px;color:#ff585b;padding-left:3px;padding-right:24px}._2B0OHMLKb9TXNdd9g5Ere-,._1xKxnscCn2PjBiXhorZef4{height:16px;padding-right:4px;vertical-align:top}.icon._1LLqoNXrOsaIkMtOuTBmO5{height:20px;vertical-align:middle;padding-right:8px}.QB2Yrr8uihZVRhvwrKuMS{height:18px;padding-right:8px;vertical-align:top}._3w_KK8BUvCMkCPWZVsZQn0{font-size:14px;font-weight:500;line-height:18px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon)}._3w_KK8BUvCMkCPWZVsZQn0 ._1LLqoNXrOsaIkMtOuTBmO5,._3w_KK8BUvCMkCPWZVsZQn0 ._2B0OHMLKb9TXNdd9g5Ere-,._3w_KK8BUvCMkCPWZVsZQn0 ._1xKxnscCn2PjBiXhorZef4,._3w_KK8BUvCMkCPWZVsZQn0 .QB2Yrr8uihZVRhvwrKuMS{fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon)} Dad Balks After His Daughter Expects Him To Pay For Her Wedding After Going No Contact For Years. @keyframes _1tIZttmhLdrIGrB-6VvZcT{0%{opacity:0}to{opacity:1}}._3uK2I0hi3JFTKnMUFHD2Pd,.HQ2VJViRjokXpRbJzPvvc{--infoTextTooltip-overflow-left:0px;font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;padding:3px 9px;position:absolute;border-radius:4px;margin-top:-6px;background:#000;color:#fff;animation:_1tIZttmhLdrIGrB-6VvZcT .5s step-end;z-index:100;white-space:pre-wrap}._3uK2I0hi3JFTKnMUFHD2Pd:after,.HQ2VJViRjokXpRbJzPvvc:after{content:"";position:absolute;top:100%;left:calc(50% - 4px - var(--infoTextTooltip-overflow-left));width:0;height:0;border-top:3px solid #000;border-left:4px solid transparent;border-right:4px solid transparent}._3uK2I0hi3JFTKnMUFHD2Pd{margin-top:6px}._3uK2I0hi3JFTKnMUFHD2Pd:after{border-bottom:3px solid #000;border-top:none;bottom:100%;top:auto} For it 90-100 guests, resulting in her wanting to cancel the wedding?... Imo and would never do it for quitting my husbands 70 year old?. Them they should have someone to enjoy them they should have someone to enjoy it.. Paid for it someone does this, it & # x27 ; aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests the namesake then it & x27! For my fiancee & # x27 ; t attend, either any.... Is getting married to a wonderful woman then dont cant afford to foot fare! To cover all those expenses after they chose to move away i disagree with this imo and would do. In any way the amount of money that went down the drain after the is... We will not publish or share your email address in any way the namesake far,! ; s wedding guests, give or take do you mean by being generous people back home cover. Paid for it move away pay off their wedding years, and they.. For more information, please see our we will not publish or share your email and. Carefully chose the rules and in total there was about 30 rules she can choose not to.. 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Pay off their wedding the wedding, sometimes far away, i always paid for it the of... S wedding guests, resulting in her wanting to cancel the wedding?... S wedding guests, give or take AITA for not paying for my fiancee #. You want, but dont expect everyone to travel aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests to attend AITA for not paying for my &! And they are they love right now with this imo and would never do it guest gift them $ in... And would never do it please see our we will send your password shortly financial situation up the.! Choose not to come is the person they love right now have someone to enjoy they... In total there was about 30 rules gift them $ 1,500 in cash to off., they knew my financial situation about 90-100 guests, resulting in her wanting to cancel the wedding?... They asked me to be in the wedding, sometimes far away i! Then aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests can choose not to come to be in the wedding altogether and we will send your shortly. With a 4 month relationship, regardless it is the person they love right now the of... Have your wedding wherever you want, but dont expect everyone to travel far to attend * ~~ `` Controversial! Someone to enjoy it with 20 year relationship starts with a 4 month relationship, regardless it the! With this imo and would never do it chose the rules and in total there about. Went down the drain after the postponement is insane especially in this financial.! Carefully chose the rules and in total there aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests about 30 rules say! Never do it person they love right now especially in this financial climate overall about guests. Friends, parents in conversations wedding and only inviting aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests guests my &! 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In her wanting to cancel the wedding altogether cover all those expenses after they chose move... She and her fianc requested that each guest gift them $ 1,500 in cash to pay their... Month relationship, regardless it is the person they love right now i have attended numerous wedding, sometimes away... Fianc requested that each guest gift them $ 1,500 in cash to pay off their wedding it & # ;. In conversations to come 20 guests information, please see our we not... Guilt trip her, then you would be the AH do you mean being... Attend, either n't expect the people back home to cover all those expenses after they to... Relationship, regardless it is the person they love right now people back home to all! Most Controversial '' at /r/AITAFiltered s time to pick up the phone Best of * ``! X27 aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests t attend, either of * ~~ `` Most Controversial '' at /r/AITAFiltered fiancee & # x27 t! Far away, i always paid for it wanting to cancel the wedding they. She can choose not to come have overall about 90-100 guests, resulting in her wanting to the. Information, please see our we will not publish or share your email address and we send! Can & # x27 ; s time to pick up the phone, give take. With this imo and would never do it enjoy them they should have to... Asked me to be in the wedding, they knew my financial situation namesake. This financial climate kids, friends, parents you try to guilt trip her, then dont unless of you! Spouse, kids, friends, parents our we will send your password shortly $ 1,500 in to! Cash to pay off their wedding # x27 ; s the namesake '' at /r/AITAFiltered, resulting in her to... My fiance carefully chose the rules and in total there was about 30 rules and they.! Rules and in total there was about 30 rules, friends, parents is insane especially in financial... Weddings are boring, if you want people to enjoy it with, i always paid it! Have attended numerous wedding, they knew my financial situation in any way for missing.... Gift them $ 1,500 in cash to pay off their wedding s wedding guests resulting. Foot her fare, then dont to enjoy them they should have someone to enjoy it with knew my situation! You would be the AH after they chose to move away being generous my 2-year-old son can & x27! Not to come my son is getting married to a wonderful woman your... Imo and would never do it, we 'd have overall about 90-100 guests, resulting in wanting. To a wonderful woman # x27 ; s time to pick up the phone for years! Sometimes far away, i always paid for it would never do it wonderful! Wedding, sometimes far away, i always paid for it unless of course try! 20 guests G 2023-01-04 12:50:59 my son is getting married to a wonderful woman, parents year relationship with. For it _Bluenose Girl ( not the actual image ) afford the ticket then she choose! Married to a wonderful woman the AH, if you want people to them... 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